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5 Examples of Gaslighting — and How to Respond
Your guide to dealing with pathological manipulators.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse and it’s very common in unhealthy relationships.
According to Psychology Today, “Victims of gaslighting are fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity.”
Gaslighting definition and origin
As explained in Vox, the phrase to gaslight refers to the act of undermining another person’s reality by denying facts, the environment around them, or even their feelings.
The term gaslighting comes from the 1938 play Gas Light — which was later turned into a movie, Gaslight, in 1944 — which is a story about a man who manipulates his wife into believing she is going completely insane and can no longer trust her own perceptions of reality.
As explained in The World, “Gaslight also refers to one of the ways in which the man manipulates his wife. Throughout the film version of the story, the woman, Paula, sees gaslights dimming and brightening for no apparent reason. Her husband, Gregory, convinces her that it’s all inside her head. In reality, he was switching the attic lights on and off to create the gaslight flickers.”
Examples of Gaslighting
As counsellor and author Mirlo Liendo mentions,
“Gaslighting comes with the intention to displace blame, make you question your own recollection of an event, and to even reconsider your own integrity and ability to make sound decisions. Individuals who gaslight are those who are silently and intensely critical of themselves. The only way they know to manage these big feelings is to manipulate others into believing they are the cause of the problem.”
Here are some examples of the most common phrases used by a gaslighter.
1. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing”
Gaslighters use this phrase to trivialize anything their victim is concerned about and is trying to understand or fix. They invalidate their victim’s emotions because they’re unable to…
